Lack of updates? A and B: Spring break for half of it, the roller coaster of awesome people for the other half of it.
I dunno. Over spring break I went from feeling awesome to miserable and back a lot, but I think it was because I was being forced to be in close contact with someone that I really just wanted to either get away from altogether, or get /really/ close to in order to just solve all problems. (Jess, 'Duh) But that last weekend at Disney/Universal, I remember saturday night when Jess and I were having a little bout, I realized that my feelings for her were already subsiding. Cue Monday and... Just... Fuck I'll get back to you when I'm not too busy thinking about it xD
Truthfully though. I am happy now. Actually ecstatic. It's such a novel feeling to me that I probably look like a damn awkward mofo. But that's ok. The lulz will subside eventually. I don't know why. I really don't. But I know that for some reason this just feels... right? Incredibly right? I can't tell how this will go in the future. I can't tell how things will eventually play out, but, they will play out how they're supposed to. Not gonna lie the boulder that I saw on the road remains mighty daunting, but, I'm confident we can get past it, and I lie writhing in anticipation at what awaits beyond it's terrifying figure.
It's funny. Minus for that one moment, sunday night, the wrenching despair that I felt so strongly has been dissipating. It started sunday morning at Disney a week and a half ago... And as I slowly regained myself in more concrete terms, it got better. I think it helped, so very much, that the more I came back, the more a certain someone was attracted to me.
The more I accepted myself, the more others accepted me for who I am.
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