[D] April 8th, 2011

Huh. Today was... Fun.

Slept in, ate, went to a doctor's appointment, or rather accompanied Domenic to his, played pool, grabbed dinner, chilled in my room, went on a date with the gf, got back at midnight, life.

Fun night really. Tori... I wonder if she'll ever realize exactly what I feel for her, to what intensity, and how genuine it is. For that matter, I wonder if I'll ever truly understand how badly I've fallen for it. It's not this wild MUST HAVE, it's more of a mellow, intimate, honest, love-to-be-around. Whether it is in the same room or holding hands, her presence just... Intoxicating. I change. For the better, I believe. Now my goal is to be able to make these external changes (note: internally she just allows me to be... myself) permanent. I want to be a better person, not for her neccesary, but for me. I want to become a better person so I can be as proud and sure of myself as she is of me. I love her.

One thing this relationship is definitely opening my eyes to is this: I can be more patient than I've ever imagined. Funny, or sad? Dunno. But I think I'm growing increasingly patient in this relationship the more time goes on. Weird ain't it?

We watched "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" - Meh. 6.5/10 - It was entertaining at parts, but definitely not something I would ever watch/read of my own free will. Still, I could've been dragged to a worse movie. So I can't really complain that much. Plus I spent a total of... Six hours? One on One with my girlfriend. I'm not complaining - AT ALL.

Not much more to say. Psyched for universal tomorrow, but that's going to be it's own 'lil headache, but we'll see.

[D] April 7th, 2011

Huh~

First thoughts first.. Jesus fucking cunt nugget. Is it really 2011 already? And are we really a fourth into the year? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I'm getting old. I really am. FML.

Lemme do a quick rundown of my life upto this point, moreso for my own organization than anything else. Had a birthday celebrated for the first time ever last month. Proceeded to meet an amazing girl and am now dating said girl. Declared my major and minors, I have a pretty good idea of what my future is gonna look like, class wise, for quite a while. Other than that. Herpderp.

So uh. Ricky is pissed at me, and although I feel kinda guilty about... I honestly don't care. I tried to stop it multiple times and he just continued on anyways. If he wants to rage. He's more than welcome to. I don't care. Honestly... If he's not even willing to talk/listen then I'm wiping my hands clean of this bs. It's up to him.

And, to what's going to turn into an going discussion about my girlfriend, Tori. I dunno what to think/say/do half the times. I don't understand what's happening to me but I can't get control it. It sucks. I wish my logic could grab a hold of my thoughts and bash some fucking sense into them. I wish I wasn't so insecure. I wish I didn't hate myself so much. I wish I could trust... I wish... Bleh.. This gets continued later.

I'm happy usually though. Just knowing I have someone I can trust to some degree. It's nice. It's entertaining. It's amusing. It sucks that I'm a guy though and guy-urges tend to kick in every so often. Shitsux yo. Does it really? Yes. Also. She says that she will eventually try to distance herself from me, and that it will be the ultimate test. Eventually? Love. You're doing it right now. I hope you notice it. I do. I know said you don't notice it half the times you do it, but you're doing it now. Can't you please wait? Wait till I learn to trust first... Please. I'll wait an eternity for you and deal with all the tests. Just please, don't throw me into the lion's den armed with only my fists. I eagerly await the arrival of summer. Why? Because. If by then you and I aren't at the top of our game. We won't last the summer. We won't love. We really won't.

School is meh. Family sucks. Shit's usual.

[R] The (after)life of the party - Fall Out Boy

So. What's up in 'dis place?

I have a new goal. What is it? Hah. You would like to know wouldn't you? Who am I talking to, you ask? I mean you, of course. The ghost in the corner of the closet, you! Uhuh, I know you're watching in all your splendid pink japanese-irish self. Come out of the closet and join me! It's quite spacious and roomy, and I'm providing the entertainment! So, what's you're name?

Anyways! Back on topic. I think? Probably. The topic was quite ingenious actually. Not unique or anything like that, nonono. I said ingenious, not genius. I'm too silly to be a genius. But I digress, I had an announcement to make! Attention Everyone! Starting today... Where was I going with this? I'm not too sure - Oh that's right! I had made an earth-shattering discovery that will change all future generations of ant-kind! Ant-kind... That's not quite right is it? Regardless, on to the juice bits!

This old, dusty, rotting, piece of shit of a blog has been around for five months now, about. And we can all agree the damn thing's gone the way of an egg left outside in the florida summer. I know right? Think about that. THINK ABOUT IT! Now that I've got that image stuck in your head, we can move on. So because it's gone to waste, not that there was much that could go to waste period, I'll say now that I've found a better and new use for this thing!

A Daily Diary! Wait. That's not new. Fuck. Oh well. Now you know what the new purpose of this is. Not exactly new. But point is. It's meant to be cathartic and help me track something-or-the-other. Does this count? No. Probably not. Entries will be marked with a [D] and the date instead of the usual [R] or [L] or whatever. The other designations will still exist, they should just be seeing a lot less usage. 

So. That's it for now. Scram. Go. Gitouttamahfayce!