Monday, December 27, 2010

[R] Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

Hah, title totally wasn't on purpose, but it kinda fits with what this post is going to be about.

So I was going through my last blog (I go through these every so often, usually only during highly emotional periods in my life - Yes, man periods.) and I found it really amusing. Because a lot of posts there mirror what I think now, a lot of the phrases I use to describe my actions and my thoughts are the same, and the general catalyst is most definitely the same - in theory. (Also, the last blog is depressing but has this one really, REALLY, REALLY amusing post that I just saved and might repost here, just because it's so fucking worth it)

Anyways... Maybe, just maybe, I can break the cycle? Because it's not just the last one. It's the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that (This is my fifth blog after all. The fourth is still online, and the other three exist as excel files on my desktop.) They all read exactly the same. Even now they read exactly the same. But never before have I ever looked back at them to read and remember my lessons. Granted, the damage's already done, but I think that... I can still salvage something this time. If I can break the cycle, this could very well be the last time.

I'm going to try, I really will, there will be ups, there will be downs, fuck it's a down right now but I have another two and a half weeks to try fix myself. I have two and a half weeks down time to deal with everything and anything related to myself. Think I can save myself this time? We'll see.

Also, I probably am Bipolar. Or at least Cyclodysthmic or whatever the fuck Bipolar-lite is supposed to be

ใŸใ„ใกใ‚‡

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