[R] Closing Time - Semisonic

Goodbye, 2010.

Before anything else, this is going to be a fucking /huge/ post which will detail more than I can bother summarizing, leave now if you'll get ADD halfway through, roflmao.

K so, where to start with this one hell of a year? I stated multiple times in my last blog that this year was one hell of a roller coaster. From the start right up until the very end, it's been nothing but a constant string of wtf-tastic events. Oddly enough though, this year started and ended with Xenia, so it makes sense to start the story there.

I remember that when 2010 started, Xenia and I had just begun talking once again. I had made up some sort of lulzy excuse to get back in her good graces and was fansubbing for her and it was... amusing. I gotta say, she may be psychotic (<3) but, she sure as hell knows how to keep things interesting. I remember going through various phases when I believed I liked her, and then it always kinda derped out after a week or two of emoing out about it. But, at this particular point in time (January, 2010) I was kinda just braindead, the only things on my vent being my AP classes, vent, and other massive bs that decided to creep it's ugly head back out of the netherworld.

And then school started back up, and it was largely bleh up until around early march? Of course, I say the year was a rollercoaster for a reason, and during this time lots of bs drama occurred on vent which kept me nicely entertained. Also, the AnimeDystopia-BakaWolf garbage happened around this time if memory served right, and that made for an amusing few weeks. Oh yeah, and something that can be summed up cleanly as not fun shit happened at the start of march, yar, that is what that is.

But towards midmarch something started happening I've noticed. The shells that made me into the shyest mother fucker around seemed to start dying, and the next month would be filled with semi-social amusement followed by a whole lot of me being a gigantic fool. I think between the time of April 25th and June 8th, I went through... what three, four crushes? Yeah. I'm over simplyfing things, maybe, but in retrospect thats how things look to be honest, although the blog that curiously spans that exact time frame says it was a pretty big deal for me, but hey, such is life xD Then summer was particularly boring, and vent kept me occupied throughout...

And then came college. And thats all I'm saying about that. Retrospect still won't allow me a clear picture on this past first semester so I'll wait before I pass judgement or even attempt to tackle it all.

But, basically, 2010 has been one hell of a year for me? Rollercoaster doesn't quite even begin to explain it, and doesn't even remotely capture all the nuances of these past 365 days. I remember Vanessa telling me: "Adolescence sucks man, everything feels like a big deal and just... Man it sucks to be you!" a few weeks ago, and quite frankly, I agree with her, but just with what it generically means? Adolescence is one hell of a time in general, I'd assume. And for someone that is seemingly growing up into adolescence at 18, it can be pretty amusingly terrible.

I really badly want to say that a lot of lessons have been learned, but either  I cant, or it's too early for me to say that. Earlier opportunities I had to prove that I had benefited from my experience showed that I had in fact, not. I didn't seem to learn my lessons time and time again, but each time I didn't really consider them such. Looking back though, this year has been nothing but a giant example of "what not to do" so I'm hoping next year is at least slightly better. Or at least, I don't repeat the same mistakes as many times as I did.

Kind of can't help but hope that it gets better, and at least next year I learn to enjoy myself. That's kind of my new years resolution honestly? Be Happy. Thats all. And for someone like me, that's really the hardest thing I could ask of myself, but we'll see.

ばかたいちょ